Seam Girls
by greysky3
Summary: 64th Hunger Games, all OCs. Miles, 14, is reaped. Has she got what it takes to become Victor and protect the people she loves?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games. Doing this once for the whole thing.**

It's early. Pale light seeps lazily out of the old shutters in my window.

The small room I share with the Parthorns is empty. They must already be up, working in the coal mines, and Bailey must be out hunting with Takeda. I get out of bed and wrestle my tangle of red curls into something resembling a braid. It keeps my hair out of my way. I get dressed quickly and run outside.

The Seam, sad and ashy in the early morning, looks back at me sullenly. It should be at least a little sunny by this time of day, so I assume today will be cool and gray. Good, my favorite weather. I walk towards the path that leads to the woods. I am not a happy, easygoing person like Bailey or Takeda. Just the opposite, I'm almost antisocial. Bailey Parthorn is just my friend, but I have to pretend she's my cousin. Her family took me in after I lost mine in a mine explosion. Children are orphaned by mine explosions all the time. I knew that I would rather live in the wilderness than be put in the orphan home. When the Parthorns took me in, I promised I would feed myself and hunt for them too.  
I must say I've kept my promise, and made sure there is always enough food on the table. So now I live will Bailey and her brother Andy as "cousins". We look nothing alike, with her straight blond hair and tall size. The only feature we share is our freckles. But people in the Seam don't ask questions. I'm almost at the woods, so I look around to make sure no one is looking. I don't want to get arrested.

I scamper under the loose spot in the fence. It's not electrified. I can't say I'm surprised. I see our signal rock has been moved from it usual spot. I was right. Bailey, Takeda, and Andy all got here before me. The tip points me in the direction they went. I get there quickly as our meeting point are never too far into the woods.

Bailey is sitting down on a rock, eating mulberries from the tree branch above her. When Takeda sees me, she walks over to where I am, her eyebrows raised inquiringly. Takeda is as tall as Bailey, and they both teasingly call me "Shorty". Her hazel eyes are a rarity in the Seam, but she as as Seam as the rest of us. Her short, wavy caramel-colored hair also set her apart from the rest of us. Bailey and her brother got their blond hair from their mother, a merchant daughter in her youth.

"I'm sorry I'm late." I say tentatively. This is not a new routine. I am often late.

"It's fine, shorty." Bailey finally looks up.

"Thanks, blondie." I shoot back. This always irritates her.

Takeda leaned back onto a rock and grinned. She wasn't related to me or Bailey in any way. Just another friend.

"Are we going to go hunt or are we going to stay here and starve?" she asks.

She takes out my bow from behind her.

"How did you find that?" I demand. I hide it because Takeda and Bailey like "borrowing" it as they like to call it. By my definition, that is stealing.

"I don't know, Lena. You're too predictable." Bailey says. Now I know she was in on it too. My real name is Milena, but my friends call me Lena or Miles. I inhale. When provoked, I can be fast and deadly.

Suddenly Takeda gets up and starts running off with my bow. Bailey follows. Wasting no time, I run after them. I hate them.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm sorry I took your bow," Bailey and Takeda say in unison. The only reason they are being so apologetic and compliant is that I have their weapons. Takeda's steel dagger and Bailey's slingshot are safe inside my bag. They say redheads have a temper. They have no idea.

Finally tired of their yammering, I take out their weapons and throw them as far as I can. They go scrambling off like unruly puppies. I sigh and sit down. I try to act carefree, but as the Reaping is in two days, I can't say I'm not worried. I'm a year older than Bailey, and two years older than her brother. I have many more chances of being reaped. At fourteen, I have already taken my tesserae for three years. For the first one, I took tesserae out for my parents and me. Then these past three years, I took tesserae for the whole Parthorn family. I don't want to think about how many of my slips are in the Reaping Bowl. If I did, I surely wouldn't sleep at night.

Bailey and Takeda come running back, laughing. Bailey is throwing berries at Takeda because she did something or other. Ignorance is bliss. They don't have half as many chances of going to the Games. I try to push that out of my head. I worry for three people when I'm left alone with my thoughts. I have considered my death too many times for it to be healthy.

I plaster a smile on my face and feel the stress go away as I pretend. But there's always that part of my brain telling me to wake up, telling me that things are not fine.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm suddenly aware of my surroundings. Eyes half open, I sit in bed, peaceful. Then the anguish comes back, tightening my chest, suffocating me. I try to remember what I'm worrying about now. One word floats up from my hazy thoughts. Reaping.

I jolt awake. It can't be today. The Parthorns are all sleeping. Bailey is missing. I know where she is. I get out of bed quietly and get dressed. No braid today, just a cap on my head. I carefully open the door and run outside. I'm in desperate need of someone to talk to.

Past the Seam, still slumbering, past the fence. I find Bailey near the stream, against a rock. I knew she would be there. She jolts when she hears me; her body tenses, and then relaxes when she recognizes me. Usually so carefree, she is today as alert and untrusting as me. I sit down next to her.

"What are you worrying for? If anyone will get picked, it'll be me," I announce, letting out my pessimistic thoughts. Bailey looks up, her eyes pained.

"It's my brother. If he gets picked, there's nothing I can do. I can't even volunteer."

I stay silent. I don't know how she expects Andy to have any chance of being reaped.

We stay in silence, thinking. Finally, I get up.

"If we're not hunting, we should go back and get ready," I tell Bailey gently.

She nods and gets up.

The way back to our home is silent. I think of Takeda. She must be at her house, getting ready with her sister, May. I have nothing to lose, in a way, I think. On an afterthought, I realize I do. The people I live with, my friends. I'm not as independent as I thought. Emotional ties are complicated with reaping and starvation hanging above our heads.

As we enter the house, everyone is silent, meditating. I take out a faded yellow dress. It's one of my only possessions from before. All my newer clothes I got from the Hob. I comb through my curls and loosely tie them into a bun. I nod to Bailey, also wearing a nice dress, but so worn down it became white. We all walk out, all the "family", all forming a strange silent procession. The Reaping is about to begin.


	4. Chapter 4

I lost my family on the way here. Family. I have to stop myself from thinking that. As I signed in, I was herded off to the fourteen-year olds section. Bailey stayed behind with her brother. I force myself to stay calm.

Finally, I catch sight of a blond head in the thirteens section. Bailey. Following her gaze, I see Andy. He's a little panicked, worried about his first year in the reaping. Takeda must be with the twelves. I finally spot her; she's coaxing her tearful little sister, who is overwhelmed by the fact that her sister is behind that rope. I avert my eyes. There's Effie Trinket, chatting with the mayor. She has a pile of bright purple curls on her head, and an equally puffy and purple dress.

She's standing up, I feel myself going faint. Stay strong, I tell myself, it won't be me. The mayor also gets up, and starts his usual speech about the Games. The video flashes past my eyes. Finally, Effie steps forward. Smiling maniacally, and almost bouncing, she goes to the microphone.

"Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be _ever_ in your favor!" she smiles.

"Happy" does not really apply to the situation. Happy. The word sounds foreign, here and now. Have I ever really been happy?

Effie steps forward, almost in slow motion. She must have already said her trademark "Ladies first!" She sticks her hand into that dreaded bowl, and I hear my name in my brain, "Milena Parthorn."

"Milena Parthorn."

Have my thoughts come alive? I start to tremble. I'm shaking. I look around, to Takeda, to Bailey, her parents. Their shocked expressions confirm that this has really happened. I stiffen and walk over to the stage, still in shock. Effie smiles and chirps something I don't register. I try to get myself to stand still, trying to memorize the faces of those people I am going to now see for the last time.


	5. Chapter 5

Effie's laugh tinkles again. I force myself to stay alert. Deep breaths. She walks over to the second Reaping Bowl. I watch her hand go in, emotionless. This time, I really have nothing to lose. She pulls the slip out, and proclaims:

"Wren Redpath."

Some boy out there must be fainting. I see one lone form, detaching itself from the crowd I was in moments ago. He must be my age. As he gets closer, I see him better. He has the usual Seam look, ashy hair, gray eyes and skeletal features. His attitude is unemotional, but I see his eyes hold great pain. Wren. Now I know the name of a boy that could possibly kill me in the next few days. The name of the boy I will have to murder if I want to see my family ever again.

He steps onto the stage, and his eyes lock on mine, two pairs of stormy orbs, fighting it out silently. He looks away. We shake hands. His are cold. His spikes of straight dark hair are trying to hide his face. He lets go suddenly. Now it's my hands that are cold.

Effie smiles and babbles on about something to the unyielding crowd. They are not happy. Bailey's parents seem to be weeping. I look away. That is not how I want to remember them. Effie takes us into the Justice Hall where we will say our goodbyes. Our final goodbyes. I am taken into a room and informed my loved ones will soon arrive by a Peacekeeper. It isn't until the door closes behind me that I finally break down and cry.


	6. Chapter 6

I'm still sobbing when I hear the door open. I spin around to find Takeda. I try to keep my emotions in, but I'm still hiccupping. If I keep crying like this later, I think, I'll have no chance with sponsors. I stop weeping and compose myself, but only until I fall into Takeda's arms. I cry until I feel empty. I look up, knowing I must be a mess, but not caring, scanning every detail of her face. This is the last time I will see her.

"When I'm gone… don't… don't sacrifice yourself," I start. "Continue your life, even if I die, you still have so much to live for. I'll pass away in peace if I know you're okay." I know this is typical, me being older, but I'm saying so much. She can't give up.

"I should be the one telling you not to give up," Takeda replies, and a watery smile appears on my face.

"Besides, I want you to have this," she says, and pulls out a necklace from her pocket. The string is leather, and on it hangs a delicate silver cat. I take it carefully into my hand.

"Really?" I say, incredulous. Then I add, "If I don't make it, take it back as a memory of me when my crate arrives."

"Don't give up, you're not finished yet," she reminds me. I am so thankful to her for being so strong.

"Make sure the Parthorns always have enough to eat. I owe them everything," I finally add. Takeda nods and I hug her again. It's over too soon, and the Peacekeepers are pulling her away from me, and I'm screaming, screaming her name. I catch one last thing.

"Remember!"

The door shuts, leaving me alone with myself. I'm so shaken up I can barely breathe. I steady myself, and prepare for the next visitor.


	7. Chapter 7

The door creaks open. I try to make my expression presentable for Bailey's sake. I recognize her footsteps. I turn around slowly, as if not to break the fragile calm that has set in me. Bailey looks worried. She sits down next to me, on the velvety couch.

"Will you be alright without me?" I ask, not vainly, but genuinely concerned for her and her family.

"You should be worrying about yourself. You're the one that has to go to the Games," she replies quietly.

"That's exactly what Takeda said," I murmur, almost to myself. I look up, and find tears in Bailey's eyes.

"I was only worrying about myself. I never had a single thought about you. This is all my fault!" she says.

"It's not your fault. You can't control the Reaping. If I'm alive now, it's thanks to you. I will owe you forever. I have Takeda's word that you will never be hungry."

Bailey squeezes me, and I'm crying too. She has been family for the past few years. I look up.

"One last thing I want to say."

"What?"

"For as long as it lasted, I enjoyed being your cousin." This makes Bailey smile and cry, and we hug again. All the time, I'm thinking about how I'll miss her. I tense again at the sound of Peacekeepers, prying me away from my loved ones once again.

She screams one last thing: "Miles! Don't forget me in the arena!"

"Never, cousin."

The door snaps shut, a terrible sound. Effie will soon be here with her enthusiasm to take me to my death.


	8. Chapter 8

"Didn't you hear, Milena?" inquires Effie. No, Milena did not hear. Milena does not care about the Capitol's petty gossip. But Effie doesn't stop talking.

"And then, she says that her eyelashes don't match! She had to get them dyed urgently before the party."

I sigh inwardly. It's only been a few minutes since we've been walking to the train station, but it feels like days. I shut off the continuous sound of Effie talking and look over to Wren, trying to figure him out. He doesn't seem to be paying much attention to our escort either. When I came out of the room, still drying a tear, he said to me "It's okay." What did he mean? Why is he telling me this? Can anything ever be okay again?

Some part of my brain tells me he was genuinely being kind, but that can't be. I'm just an obstacle to his survival. Wren. I think that's the name of a bird. An image forms in my mind. A small brown bird, speckled with white. Flying through the woods.

I can't kill Wren. I can't kill anyone. Did I actually believe I even had a chance of winning? The best I can do is to try to die nobly.

I look at Wren again. He's gray eyes look back at me, matching mine. He must be trying to figure me out too. Either that, or he's trying to figure out how to kill me. I have to stop thinking, stop over-analyzing. Luckily, we're at the train station. We get on, and Effie shows me to my room. It's luxuriously carpeted with thick, lush purple material. The walls are meticulously decorated with gold and purple painted vines. The whole room is plum colored. I have no belongings, except the silver cat necklace hanging on my neck, and my frail yellow dress. I sit awkwardly on the bed until Effie leaves.

Then I realize I do want to change. I slip on simple purple pants a matching shirt. I blend into the room now. I sigh and completely let loose as I crash onto the bed. I look at he ceiling for a while, but Effie's calling me to dinner. I get up again and get ready to leave the room.


	9. Chapter 9

Wren looks up from his plate. I have been observing him while eating, trying to size him up. He seems capable off killing me easily if he catches me off guard. He is definitely stronger than me. My chances of winning aren't looking great.

I resign myself to eating as much as I can. I can't be out there, skeletal as I am, against bigger opponents. I know that in a week, slow starving will start, except this time worse than at home. In District 12, there aren't people in the woods just waiting to kill you. I look around at our silent dinner. Effie, Wren and I are all sitting silently at the table. At first, Effie tried small talk. She gave up after a while.

The food is delicious. Heaping bowls of rice with decadent sauces, duck and chicken cooked in cream and spices, and heaps of mashed potatoes and bread. I wonder what Bailey is eating. Maybe our usual rabbit or squirrel stew. Did the get enough to eat? I absently finger my necklace. Is Takeda keeping her promise?

Wren finally breaks the silence.

"Who gave you that?" he asks. I can't help feeling an accusing undertone to his question.

"My friend," I reply. "She gave it to me during the goodbyes so… so I wouldn't forget her," I add.

"I'm sorry," Wren says. I think it's stupid of him to apologize. Is he sorry I got a necklace? Is he sorry I got reaped? I decide to say nothing, and turn my attention back to my dinner. Wren clearly wants to say more, but he too turns away. Effie finally finishes eating, gets up, and bids us goodbye. I personally couldn't care less about whether she is in the room or not, but I nod politely.

I stuff myself in silence for a while more until I am almost sick. Then I get up, and get ready to go back to my room. Wren stops me.

"Your friends… you really cared about them,"

"They were my family," I answer, surprised. Then I leave before he can say anything else. I can't get too attached.


	10. Chapter 10

It's sunny. Golden rays drip down between the leaves. I'm in the woods. Takeda and Bailey are there; a memory of a laugh hangs in the air. They dissolve into the golden greenery. I follow them. I pass through trees and shrubs easily. Takeda and Bailey are around here. I can sense them. Their laughter floats in the heavy air, fizzing with light. I try to find them, but I'm floating. Trees strip away, and everything is flying. I stay, unmoving, watching the golden world dissolve into a dark one. All is shadows and the laughter dies away.

I'm standing alone, shivering. Suddenly, the ground gives way under me and I'm falling. I fall into the Reaping Bowl, its clear sides fluorescent in the neon darkness. I fall into the strips and my name echoes inside the bowl. The papers are huge, and growing still, and every single one of them has my name on it.

"Miles!" May is calling me. Sweet, innocent May.

"I'm coming!" I scream, but I can't climb the round, slippery edges of the bowl. And Effie's perfectly manicured hand is already reaching in, to pick me, to kill me.

I wake up suddenly. Apparently, I have been screaming, because Effie is knocking on my door. I pull on a robe and open my door. It's not Effie, it's Wren.

For a moment, I'm so surprised, I can't move. Then I suddenly react.

"What are you _doing_ here?" I question suspiciously.

"You were screaming 'I'm coming, May,'" he answers, as if it were an obvious fact. I sigh.

"Do you want to come in?" I ask as I open the door wider. As response, he gets in my room. I close the door quietly. I sit down on the bed next to Wren.

"So, who's May?" he finally asks.

"She's this little girl. Only nine." I explain.

"Takeda's sister?" he asks.

"How did you know that?"

"You said other things in your sleep,"

"Well, yes, Takeda's sister,"

He sits there for a while, pensive.

"Then who's Bailey?" he asks again. I think he's being a little too curious, but I answer anyway.

"She's my cousin." I lie, hoping he'll buy it.

"Really?"

"No," I admit. "We just pretend. She and her family took me in after the mine explosion,"

He nods like he understood something, and I'm just thinking about how I can politely tell him to go. I turn around to tell him but he's already gone. He's stealthier than I thought. Just one more reason not to trust him.


	11. Chapter 11

"It's a big big big day!" a voice exclaims, waking me up from my sleep.

"Bailey?" I mumble, and half-open tired eyes. Then it all comes back to me in a rush, the reaping, the train. I groan and roll over.

"Coming, Effie," I tiredly tell her through the closed door.

"Breakfast is in half an hour," she says, and goes hopping away. I drag myself out of bed. Why am I so tired? Then I remember. Wren came over to my room last night. What was that about? And why did I let him in? I must have been still asleep.

I plant myself in front of the huge mirror in my room. I'm still wearing the clothes from yesterday. I open what looks like a closet door, and I'm greeted by dozens of outfits, all identical to the one I'm wearing now, but in all colors. I pick gray, in mourning. Somewhat refreshed, I look around for the bathroom. It's actually in my room. I open the door and brush my teeth pensively.

When I'm ready, I finally open the door and quietly make my way to the dining room. Wren and Effie are already there. Great.

But then I notice another man I don't know. He looks to be in his twenties, but his eyes are already bloodshot. His sagging form indicates me he's drunk. I shoot a questioning look at Effie, who just motions me to the empty chair next to Wren. I sit down. Everyone is silent, so I decide to speak up.

"Hello," I say to the man. His long, ashen hair moves and I think he may be reacting. He looks up at me.

"Hey, sweetheart," he answers nastily. I could have strangled him then and there, but Effie, seeing my anger, speaks.

"Milena, meet your mentor, Haymitch Abernathy."

"Miles," I say, leaning back into my chair. I hate how Effie always uses my full name. Then another thought hits me. This is my mentor? The one who has to coach me through this? A drunken man who's given up on life?

Luckily, Effie suggests we eat. The table is full of good food, eggs scrambled, fried, poached, bacon, read rolls, and jugs of milk and water. Beautiful cubes of multicolored jellies sit on a perfect little plate. I take huge servings of everything, and so does Wren. Haymitch only takes wine.

"Are you going to keep drinking? Because you're not getting any healthier here," I tell him.

"I can do whatever I want, sweetheart," he laughs.

"Call me sweetheart again, we'll see who's laughing," I growl, annoyed at his arrogance.

"Cool it, darling," he says. I lose it again. I won't be disrespected in this way. Especially not right before my death. I smack the wine off of the table, as well as Haymitch's glass. He sits passively. He finally says,

"Well, you're something, aren't you." He laughs and leaves the table. I sit down, fuming, but then notice the way Wren and Effie are staring at me. Wren looks worried, and Effie looks scandalized. I shoot them both looks that make them look away immediately.

I realize I'm not off to a good start.


	12. Chapter 12

Shining, candy-colored towers appear at the train's window. We have arrived at the Capitol. I stare out, taking in the shining city. Wren is right beside me, also in awe. Soon, we are at the station. Hordes of people are outside, trying to get a glimpse of the tributes. We pass them quickly, and Effie herds us off the train.

We are taken to a building they call the Remake Center. That implies I need to be remade. My prep team, three women dyed in neon shades, greets me. They immediately prepare a bath for me. It smells of flowers and other things I can't place. As soon as I'm out, they put me on a table that looks to me like an operation table. I hate being in such a vulnerable position, and I can't see what they're doing. Then they arrive with strips of fabric with hot wax.

I grit my teeth again as hair is ripped out of its roots. My legs seemed perfectly fine to me, but not by Capitol standards.

"It's almost done," promises one of them. I think her name is Aelia. From what they've been saying, I can gather that the other two are named Liviana and Fabia, and that their lives revolve around parties and fashion. I sigh in relief as it's finally over. There's not a single hair on my body other than on my head. I feel tingly, and unprotected.

I slowly get up. My prep team gives me no time to rest. Fabia gets right to work on my hair, massaging orange gel into it. Meanwhile, the others work on my nails, apparently they were "way too long" and "borderline barbaric."

It feels like it's been hours, but my hair cut shoulder-length, my nails perfect, my prep team gives me a robe and informs me that my stylist, Zinnia, will soon be here. They finally leave me alone.

I slip on the robe and sit on one of the chairs. Finally, a youngish woman appears. She has neon green hair, cut perfectly straight, with perfect bangs. Her outfit matches her hair; it's green and sharply cut.

"I'm Zinnia," she tells me dreamily. I would have guessed so, I think, but I keep my sarcastic thoughts to myself.

"You're my stylist," I reply, since we were now stating obvious facts. She smiles.

"I have a great idea for your outfit at the chariot rides tonight," she murmurs.

For some reason, this "great idea" makes me nervous.


	13. Chapter 13

Coal dust. And lots of it. I look like I've been rolling around naked in a coal mine. Fortunately, it only looks that way. I've been granted a flesh-colored leotard under all this dust. It's not real coal dust, because it glitters unnaturally. My lashes feel heavy with makeup. Finally, my prep team is done applying the powder and they show me to a mirror.

I look dark, mysterious. My eyes are ringed with black eyeliner, making them pop. My hair is the only touch of color to this dark outfit. It looks beautiful but strange, falling in copper cascades along my shoulders. My eyes are stormier than ever, looking our resentfully from their dark surroundings. I guess Zinnia wasn't so crazy. This is better than a coal miner outfit, and I'm sure to make an impression.

I let myself get taken to the stables. There's Wren. He also is all clad in dark dust. He looks striking, his hair matching his outfit. Did I just think that? I ask myself. I try to erase that thought from my mind. Wren has already walked up to me.

"You're wearing a leotard, right?" he asks worriedly.

"Yeah," I laugh. "You?"

"Unfortunately, me too," he grins.

"Better than nothing at all."

"True."

Maybe I'm being a little too paranoid. But that's probably just what he wants me to think. He wants to earn my trust and then strike where I'm the weakest.

Maybe I'm being too paranoid. I shake my head to clear it and go join Wren at our chariot. We have black horses to match our outfits. It's about to start. Zinnia comes over to straighten everything out with Wren and me. Once everything is perfect she squeezes my hand and wishes me good luck. The rides are about to start. I'm about to get into the chariot, but Wren is frozen, waiting for me.

"What? Get on," I tell him. Re rolls his eyes.

"I was being polite. Letting you get on first."

"What, because I'm a girl or something? That's stupid." I say. Wren just sighs and gets on, and I follow. I'm kind of angry with him for degrading me like that, but when the blaring music starts, fear overwhelms anything else. The horses start on their own without anyone telling them to. I watch all the other chariots drive off, and finally it's our turn. I grip the sides of the chariot. Wren glances at me.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Just… just nervous," I manage to get out.

And we're out, people cheering on all sides. We've made an impression, I hope. We ride through and I manage to unclench one of my hands to wave. We finally arrive at the end of the course after a few exhausting minutes. President Snow gives his speech, but I can barely hear it above the roar. It's finished, and out of fear of falling, of fainting, I grip Wren's hand right before we disappear from the crowd's view.


	14. Chapter 14

I am again woken up by Effie.

"Up, up, up!" she chirps. I open one tired eye, and I see gold. Gold? I open my eyes more to get a better look. Effie's hair is now a shining gold, as is her outfit. I'm tempted to ask how she managed to do that, but I'm afraid that this will trigger an hour-long babble. I just tell her I'll be ready soon.

I try to get out, but get caught in the tangle of covers and only manage to fall to the ground, dragging them off of the bed. What a great start to a great day. Today is the first day of training. A fresh gray outfit, neatly folded, sits primly on a chair. I grab it and slip it on. I brush my teeth in the bathroom and comb through my hair. I braid it down my back for convenience. This reminds me of the last time I did this familiar motion.

It was that day, long ago, when I was hunting with Takeda and Bailey, and they took my bow. It seems like a lifetime ago, but it couldn't have been more than one week. My attention turns back to home. Is everyone all right? I've been so caught up with myself I haven't spared them a single thought. I think of Takeda's last words. Remember. What did she mean? Should I remember her?

My thoughts are interfering with my functioning. I'm past help now, and all the worrying in the world won't help Bailey. I walk out of my room and in to the dining room. Once again, a sumptuous breakfast is ready. I take a plate and fill it with heaping portions. I have noticed I've gained some weight. Good.

I curl up on the couch with my plate. Effie looks at me sternly, but I pretend not to see. Wren arrives and takes a generous portion for himself, then takes his plate to the couch facing me. I chew slowly, observing him, and he's watching me too. I wonder what he's thinking. What does he think of me? Does he think he can kill me? Does he think I will kill him? I close my eyes, shutting off the river of questions. I hope he doesn't ask me if I'm okay. He's been asking this all the time, even more than my adoptive parents did. What does he care? I sure won't be okay when he kills me.

Wren finishes, and I realize I'm not hungry. I get up, and Effie announces it's time to go to training. I stretch and look around this strange place, on the top floor of the building. We go to the elevator, and arrive at Training just in time. Most of the tributes have already arrived.

A woman, Atala, starts reading off the list of activities. I'm itching to get my hands on those rows of shiny silver bows. When she's finished, we're free to do as we please. I head over to the archery section, and Wren strangely follows me.

"So what's your skill?" I ask him.

"I don't know yet. Guess I'll have to find out," he laughs awkwardly.

I sigh and head over to the bows. I have dummies to destroy.


	15. Chapter 15

One arrow went clean through the neck, another through the heart. I admit I did pretty well. That dummy is as good as dead. Wren watches me worriedly; almost surprised I am capable of killing. I roll my eyes at him. It's only a dummy. And this is the only way I can win, like I promised. Maybe he finally sees me as an enemy. Good, because this charade he started with being friends is over.

I need to train more. I pull out another arrow, and aim it at a target. I let it fly and it wedges into it near the bull's-eye. I shoot again, this time, closer to the center. Wren is still stubbornly watching, refusing to train.

"If you don't train, you'll be the first to die," I warn him.

"I'm fine watching you," he replies.

"No, you're not, and it's distracting me," I tell him exasperated. I drag him over to the javelins.

"Try throwing these," I say and leave. The room is full with tributes. At the sword fighting station are the tributes from Two: Marina and Ludwig. Ludwig is showing off, he's twirling his sword for Marina. Unimpressed, she takes it from him and decapitates the dummy. The tributes from One are walking over to where I left Wren. I think their names are Ace and Crystal. Blame their districts for their silly names.

Ace is walking over to Wren, and saying something to him. Crystal hangs back, nodding her blond waves of hair. Just like Bailey's hair, except lighter and wavier. Everything today is reminding me of Bailey. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to block her out.

Wren is already worried. I wave him away before he can start to come over and check on me. His strategy makes no sense to me. My eyes wander away to the hand-to-hand combat section. There's a little girl, no more than twelve, and she's clearly beating an opposing tribute. She has short waves of jet-black hair and intense dark blue eyes. She is small in stature; she can't be bigger than May.

Something compels me to go over to her. She has just sparred with another tribute and beat him. Her advantage is being small and quick. I offer to spar with her. She grins and agrees. I am handed a sword, and we begin. She's pretty good, but she's no match for someone twice her size. She strikes with small, quick strokes, but I counter every one of them. Finally, I fake to the left, she falls for it and I'm left with my sword resting on her chest.

"You're good. You were at a disadvantage here," I tell her. "What's your name?" I ask.

"Amandla," she says. She looks harmless, but I know what she can do.

I smile at her and leave her to challenge someone else. On my way back to the archery section, Ludwig stops me. We haven't officially met, but I gathered what his name was by listening to Marina.

"Hello, Twelve," he says suavely.  
"I have a name," I answer him. He smiles and sticks out his hand for me to shake it.

"Ludwig," he says.

"Miles," I say as I shake his hand defiantly. He nods and walks away.


	16. Chapter 16

I push the elevator button once again. It has been a tiring day, and my patience is wearing thin.

"Stupid thing!" I exclaim as I slam my hand onto it again.

"Calm down," says Wren. I shoot him a deadly look.

"I'll calm down when the elevator arrives!" I practically scream.

At this instant, the doors open smoothly and there's a calm "Ding." It's taunting me. I get in and Wren follows. Maybe he thinks I'm crazy. I don't care, as long as he stops asking me if I'm okay. I'm not okay! I have a good chance of _dying_ in the next few days!

The doors open and Effie is already at the table with Zinnia and Haymitch. He laughs when he sees me. I scowl. Encounters with Haymitch have not ended well in the past. I sit down stiffly next to Wren. The table is beautifully set, with roast goose with figs and an orange soup with exotic mushrooms. The sides are little bite-sized pieces of bread spread with rabbit and tiny little leaves and edible flowers. There's a bowl full of small bird eggs, the yolk scooped out and replaced by a spicy yellow thing they call mustard. Neither Wren nor I have ever tasted it before.

I eat quietly but abundantly, savoring all the flavors. Everything is delicious, and the food supply is limitless. We're done eating, and I realize nothing has gone wrong between Haymitch and I. Wren and I are excused from the table, and I go to my room. I change into a nightgown, the same gray shade as my day clothes.

I lay on my bed, without being able to sleep. I decide to go leave my room, maybe go look out the window, from where I can see the entire Capitol. I pull on a robe and discreetly leave my room. When I get to the wall-sized window, Wren is already there. He turns around, and then sees it's just me.

"I can't sleep," I explain. He nods, and motions me to sit down next to him. I do, and look out at the dots of light for a while.

"Do you have family back home?" I ask him, suddenly curious.

"I left my parents and two brothers," he tells me hollowly. Then, he ask me:

"How did you learn to shoot a bow like that?" he asks.

"I… hunted for food," I admit. He's Seam, he won't tell.

I look back to the starry landscape dotted with lights. Wren seems nice, but I can't trust him. And about me holding his hand… well that was an accident. Why was I so afraid at the chariot rides? I'm tougher than that. Maybe I'm not as independent and fearless as I'd like. I miss my old home.

"Me, too," says Wren. I realize I must have spoken that last thought aloud.

"We should go to bed," he says and he gets up. This time, I don't turn away the hand he's offering me; I'm so tired. He pulls me up and yawning, we make our way to our rooms. I open the door to mine and bid Wren good night.


	17. Chapter 17

Today is the day of the interviews. This thought wakes me up. Effie pops her head into my room through the doorway, and is just about to open her mouth to say something, but then she sees I'm awake. Smiling satisfied, she goes over to Wren's room to bother him instead. I find another outfit, but this time with touches of white to the shirt sleeves and the pants are cargo pants. I put it on without thinking, braid my hair, and tumble out into the dining room. For once, I finally got to the table before Wren.

I grab a plate and load it with bacon, eggs, and toast. I curl up on the couch with my plate, enjoying Effie's scandalized expression. It's a big couch, and made of orange fabric. Wren arrives, grabs food and sits on the other end of it. Effie sits alone at the table. She finally speaks to us.

"Your interviews are tonight, so Haymitch and I will coach you separately during the day." I involuntarily groan. Haymitch is the last person I want to see today. I turn my emotions in and accept my fate. I get Effie first, two hours of presentation, then two hours of content with Haymitch.

I finish eating and Effie leads me to another room. I have to practice wearing floor-length gowns and high heels. I can barely make one step without falling. How I am supposed to be balanced when my feet are on two sticks? When I more or less manage to walk, at least to not trip, we move on to gowns. I feel like I'm running around in a curtain. I have to learn to lift the dress, hold it correctly, and not trip over myself. I spend more time on the ground than walking.

Finally, Effie has to correct my posture. Apparently I am hunched over when I walk. She puts a ruler against my back and makes me walk with books on my head. Finally, I manage to walk with books, high heels, and a long gown at the same time. Effie beams and announces my two hours are over. I go over to Haymitch, who is in the dining and living room.

For a while he just stares at me. Then he decides,

"We're going to play up to an arrogant and confident side, you're good at that, aren't you?" I know he's testing me, so I keep quiet even though I'm boiling inside.

He asks me questions about my family, my life, and I answer honestly. Then when he asks about the other tributes, I have to pretend I'm sure to win. He says I have to make up for physical deficits with assertiveness. I bite my tongue to keep myself from saying something I'll regret. After two long hours, he finally tells me to go. I'll have the rest of the day to myself.


	18. Chapter 18

My prep team smiles at me. I take a seat in a chair and let them get started on me. It's especially important I look good today as I have the interview. Fabia starts putting the goo in my hair, while the other two do my nails and face. I sit through the whole ordeal, my hair feeling heavy and cold and slimy, and my skin being scrubbed off while I lose my bodily weapons: my nails. They become short, round and harmless. I liked them better long, that way I can always scratch someone if I have no other weapon. The goo is rinsed off and my nails are left alone.

They start my makeup. All three of them dart around me, dusting me with powders and shadows. Finally, they give me a mirror. They've put minimal highlights on my face, and some shadows on my eyes. Zinnia is always trying to bring attention to my eyes. My hair is again flawless, coppery and shining with all its might. Every single curl, twist is perfect, not a hair is out of place.

My prep team leaves the room giggling, overjoyed at the success of their work. Zinnia arrives immediately. She has a bag, which I guess contains my dress. When she opens it, I think she's holding a cloud. Layers and layers of fluttering gray fabric, almost see-through by itself, but when layered opaque. She puts the wispy dress on me, and it looks like I'm walking in a cloud, no, in smoke. Every movement seems to dissipate some of the wisps of fog, but I know it's only fabric. I can almost imagine the shapes curling up from fire. And what makes fire? Coal does. I suddenly understand her logic.

"It's beautiful," I tell her.

"Coal isn't really black, you know," she says. "It's more… dark gray." I wonder whether she's crazy or just a dreamer. Maybe clothes are her only way to express herself. She smiles at me and leads me out into a hallway that connects into the stage. The interviews will start any minute. I spot Haymitch and Effie, and walk over to them.

"Oh, you look _gorgeous_!" Effie exclaims. When she's not looking, I roll my eyes. Haymitch snickers. Maybe he's not so bad. Wren arrives. He's just dressed simply in a fancy gray shirt and darker gray pants. For some reason, I begin to resent him for being taller than me. I feel small, silly in my dress. Then I look around and see all the other female tributes in dresses, and accept my fate. _"Shorty,"_ I think, remembering my old nickname.

The interviews begin, and being from One, Ace is called first. He begins the interview, and I can plainly see his angle is easygoing and funny. Crystal, shining in a gem-incrusted strapless dress is playing the fierce angle. Ludwig is charming, Marina is confident, and on and on. As I watch all these tributes performing so well, I wonder how I will ever measure up to that. The boy from Eight, Liam, is playing the caring side. Amandla comes up, and she plays confident, but I can hear her voice crack. She's only twelve, the youngest tribute, I think. I watch all the tributes pass by, three minutes of personality and jokes. It's Wren's turn. I will go on soon, but in the meanwhile I watch his interview.


	19. Chapter 19

Wren walks slowly towards the stage. I wonder what angle Haymitch has prepared for him.

He takes a seat next to Caesar, the freaky man with a painted face that has hosted the interviews for forty years. His ponytail, eyelids, and lips are coated in pale lilac makeup. His face is powdery white, which gives him a scary look.

"So," Caesar starts, "how did it feel to be covered in coal dust?"

"Good," Wren says, "except for finding it in my bed and clothes days later." Caesar laughs with the audience and Wren goes along with it. He's good at performing, or maybe just at being nice. I'm just the opposite; taking years to trust my select few people who I still have trouble telling what's on my mind. Why am I so envious? I can be a tall idiot if I want, but my size is better for faster escapes and my untrusting nature will save me from traps.

I've missed part of what Wren was saying. Caesar is laughing. Wren's a natural.

"So, are you confident you'll win?" Caesar asks.

"I am. I'll be the victor." He says. Great, he is being assertive about killing me. I shiver. I still have my will to live, no matter what he wants. The three minutes are up.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Wren Redpath from District Twelve!" Caesar grins with his scary painted face. Wren smiles and comes back to take a seat next to me.

"Well, I'm confident I'll kill you first," I tell him venomously.

"Miles…" he starts. But my name has been called and I walk out onto the stage without looking back. Caesar invites me to sit down. I force myself to be at ease.

"Last but not least, the lovely Milena Parthorn!" he practically screams.

"Please, call me Miles," I say, masking my fear with confidence. Everyone applauds, but I'm not sure why.

"So, Miles," he says, "you had an impressive debut with your coal dust."

"Yes," I say, "my stylist is brilliant."

"I can see that. This dress… it's breathtaking." I think he's being a little too dramatic. After all, it's just a dress. But I smile and nod, playing along.

"So… what are your views on the other tributes?" Caesar asks me. Honestly, they scare me to death, but I remember Haymitch's advice. I have to be arrogant.

"They'd better stay out of my way in the arena… for their own good." I say.

"Looks like we've got a fighter here!" he says, and the crowd is roaring.

"Well, Miles, one last question. Did you leave any family behind?" he asks.

"My adoptive family. So I guess no, not really." I answer truthfully. Caesar wipes a tear and I wonder if he's faking it or not.

"So tragic…" he sighs. I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes. I've captured their attention.

"But I'll win for them. For taking me in all these years." I say bravely.

"Of course. Best of wishes to you, Miles." He says, and takes my hand. The interview is over. I walk out of the stage with all the other tributes, ignoring Wren who's trying to get my attention.


	20. Chapter 20

I wake up again, again with terror and worry suffocating me. It's like a déjà-vu from that day, centuries ago, when I woke up for Reaping day. The day when all this horror started. The day my death began. I drag myself out of bed, having completely lost my will to live. I slip on random clothes I find on a chair. Today is when the Hunger Games start. When I will have to pay for supposed past crimes with my life, or with my humanity.

I leave my room, not caring. There's that boy I will have to kill in order to keep my promise. There are those two people who are guiding me towards a slower death, a longer one by trying to get me supplies than will only postpone my demise a little while longer.

"Remember." Takeda's voice says, chiding me gently. I promise myself I'll die remembering. I sit down and try to eat one last good meal. Everyone's quiet. I don't need to listen to them. Nothing they do or say now will change anything.

When we're done. We're taken to a hovercraft. They take my arm, and stab a contraption into it. I wince, but it's done. This must be my tracker, so the Gamemakers will be able to kill me more easily. I wait in the hovercraft, until we finally land in the Launch Room. Or the Stockyard, where animals go before being slaughtered.

There, I meet Zinnia. She seems beside herself, her eyes brimming with emotion. I pat her hand. I'm the one in need of reassuring. I sit down and she offers me a glass of water. I take it and take small sips from it. We sit in silence. Finally, a metallic voice announces "Thirty seconds".

Zinnia motions me over into the glass tube. I step in. Twenty seconds. Zinnia sheds a tear. Ten seconds. Zinnia is crying. Beep. The tube closes, and I feel like I'm running out of air. The small space is closing in on me, and for the first time, I know what it's like to feel claustrophobic. Zinnia smiles at me through her tears, and I calm down. I have enough air, I tell myself. The tube begins to rise up. For a moment I'm startled, but then I calm down. I don't want the others to think I'm weak.

The tube rises into the blinding light above.


	21. Chapter 21

The light is blinding. I finally get my eyes to cooperate. Sixty seconds. I look around. There are trees, mountains, and even a river.

Fifty-four. The tributes. Wren is to my right, looking terrified. Amandla and Liam are across from me.

Forty-nine. I locate a bundle of supplies, fit with knives. It seems feasibly near.

Forty-four. Ace, Crystal, Marina and Ludwig are all tensing. They'll be the Career pack.

Thirty-eight. The numbers flash on the Cornucopia, counting down to the gong.

Twenty-seven. I tense my legs, ready to run. I focus on that bundle of supplies.

Twenty-three. I find where I will run after grabbing the bundle.

Seventeen. I am going to die.

Ten. Wren is tensing. Nine. Amandla looks at me. Eight. Ludwig balls his fists. Seven. Marina smirks. Six. Ace looks worried. Five. Liam looks at Amandla. Four. Crystal is looking at a dagger. Three. I tense, getting every muscle ready. Two. A deep breath.

The gong sounds. My legs tear me away, running under me. I keep my eyes on the bundle. People are already fighting. I grab the bag and kick someone in the shins. I take off, holding up the bag in front of my back, using it as armor as I run. Wren is running into the forest, right where I'd planned to go. No time to change my course, though.

I run into the forest, where I know Wren is. I'll face him, and kill him. An arrow lodges itself into a nearby tree. I should get moving, but I take a few seconds to pluck it out of the tree. Better than nothing. I run, ignoring anything my body's feeling, guided by my will to live. I will not die. I will not die.

I run through a small stream, filling a water bottle. I run through a few valleys, until I'm pretty sure I'm far from whomever took over the Cornucopia.

I hear a noise. I turn around, and pull a knife out of the exterior mesh pockets of the bag. I keep turning. I can't find the tribute. Something grabs my left arm, and I turn around. Luckily my free hand is the one holding the knife. It's Wren. Him again.

"Let go," I snarl, "I'm the one with the knife."

"No!" he says desperately. "Let's be allies." I search his eyes, not understanding. Then he shows me he has a sword. He would definitely win if we fought, no contest. This is more blackmailing than an alliance, but I agree sullenly.

"Let's move." I tell him. "We already lost enough time." He agrees, and while I'm walking twists out the knife from my hand, and takes my bag.

"Hey!" I say, furious. I had no idea he was that strong.

"You said it, let's go." I'm angry, but I comply, seeing as he has all the weapons. I will not die, I remember I said a second ago. I might as well pretend to go along with him to buy some more time for me to escape.

So I walk on, daring him to follow me. He won't kill me, not now. Why else would he insist we ally then take my weapons? It's because he thinks I'll be helpful to him. And it's because he doesn't trust me with a weapon around him. Wise move, because I would have killed him without hesitation.


	22. Chapter 22

We trudge along the forest floor. Great. Now I have no weapon and I'm stuck with this guy who has my stuff. I could just run away from him. But without any supplies, I wouldn't last long. I decide to wait it out until the night comes, then take my stuff, and maybe his along the way. We've been walking for a few hours. We arrive at a stream.

"Let's refill our water bottles here." I say, my voice stiff with anger.

"I'm sorry, Miles, but—"

"Can it." I tell him. "I don't care. You said it yourself, you're the one with the weapons."

If we were going to ally, at least we could do it the normal way. But he has me as a sort of prisoner, a guide through the woods. He'll be much easier to kill at night.

If he hasn't killed me yet, then he's not planning to. Why else take the risk of keeping me alive? Why else try to apologize, when there are no rules, much less moral rules? I sit down on a rock. I stubbornly ignore what he's saying about strategy. What does he know about strategy? I refill my bottle, put drops of iodine in it.

I get up without a word. I walk on; confident he'll follow me. I have to say, I'm not sure I follow his plan. The best I can do is stay on my guards and ready to kill. We continue through the forests. I try to think of what the arena looks like.

There is a river in the middle, which must branch out into streams, two of which we've crossed. We must be heading towards the mountain range that rings the arena. These kinds of things never happen in nature. There are never circular mountain ranges, and a river that flows but comes from nowhere and doesn't go anywhere. The whole arena was probably custom-made for the Games.

Finally, the woods are sparser. The mountain is appearing.

"We should find some sort of cave or somewhere to sleep in the mountains." I tell him. He does not respond, just looks confused.

"The mountains are forward," I say, gesturing with my arm. Totally clueless, I think. I start walking faster. He had better keep up, or he'll lose his precious ally. More like prisoner.

The sun is fading in the horizon; we should hurry up and find a place to rest. There's this place with a ledge jutting out. There's a deep cave. This is perfect. I walk in without bending over. It's one of the advantages of being shorter. I get in and sit down. Wren follows.

"I'll go get food," he says.

"Good luck with that," I snort. He won't be long. I take off my thermal jacket and put it on the floor. Wren has an identical one, with 12 on it like mine. I spread out on it and pretend to be asleep. Wren doesn't take long. When he's back, he has no food. I knew it. He sees me on the ground, and squats next to me. I'm ready to strike at any moment. To my surprise, he just takes his jacket and puts it over me.


	23. Chapter 23

It's dark. It must be around midnight. This is my chance to escape. I get up slowly. Wren's jacket is still on me. It will be useful. I step forward, ever so quietly. My bag is near Wren, but not touching him. That was stupid of him. Anyone could easily take it. Maybe he expected me to help guard it. Guess that backfired.

I pick it up slowly. No sound from Wren. I open the bag and stuff the two jackets in. I'm about to leave, but then I see the ashes left from a small fire he must have built. He even left a stick next to it, maybe a makeshift poker. I take it and write in the ashes "Love, Miles."

I run out quickly. I must have made some kind of sound, because Wren calling me echoes through the mountains. It's too late. I'm already gone.

I climb up a big tree and stay there. He must have figured out I left willingly when seeing my message in the ashes. I finally get to open the bag. It has dried meat, fruit, and the water bottle I filled earlier still in the outer pocket. Inside, there is some kind of thermal blanket. The iodine and knives are still in their place next to the water bottle. There's sturdy rope, plastic sheeting, and a rudimentary first-aid kit.

I take a chunk of dried meat from its plastic container. The container will be useful for storing future food. I chew slowly. This will be dinner. I try to sleep. The air is freezing, even with two jackets and the blanket. I wonder how Wren is doing. He has nothing. Maybe he lit a fire. I suddenly feel a wave of guilt. I may me killing him now, letting him freeze. I shake that from my head. The cold numbs my mind.

I wake up. I can't move. It's day, but it's gray out. Snow is falling thickly, coating everything. The Gamemakers are probably trying to freeze us. It occurs to me that I may die frozen. Now I wish I hadn't left the cave. Maybe I killed Wren too. Maybe that's why I deserved to die. He only helped me! I think I hear him. I'm going crazy. I nod off, succumbing to the cold.

I'm being lifted. Warmth floods me. I open my eyes slightly. Wren is carrying me, his breath white in the cold air. I manage a half-frozen smile.

"You came back for me," I half whisper.

"Of course," he says.


	24. Chapter 24

I try to cover my face with my arms to shield myself from the cold. Wren's uneven steps jolt me along the way. He's carrying me, half-frozen, up the mountain. He stops to adjust my thermal blanket. I'm pretty much incapable of movement, my torso and legs being supported by Wren's arms. Add to that the fact that I'm almost frozen to death.

"You don't have to carry me," I tell him.

"Yes, I do." He grits his teeth and continues. Luckily, I'm pretty light. Since he has just saved me, I don't question his motives at all. I can barely think, with wind howling and snow blanketing everything, filling the air. I just try to hold on to him.

If he decides to stop carrying me, I'm done. I'll freeze and die. I'll owe him forever if he gets me through this. We're almost there.

"Our cave's left," I tell him.

"Half-dead, and still giving out orders." I manage a smile. I guess I can't help it. He finally arrives at the mouth of our cave. He slowly lowers me onto the ground. He lights a fire and I watch him, still thawing. My frozen fingers fumble with the bag. I take out the plastic sheeting and wedge it in crevices around the mouth of the cave, forming a barrier that will keep cold and snow out.

I huddle around the fire. I offer Wren some dried meat. He refuses.

"When was the last time you ate?" I ask him.

"The morning of the first day of the Games." He replies.

"You need to eat." I tell him.

"I can't take that from you."

"You will, or I'll run out again. You can't stop me," I say menacingly, and start to get up. He reaches over and effortlessly pulls me away. He lays me down on the ground, and wraps me with the blanket. So maybe he _can_ stop me.

He just smiles and takes a portion of dried meat. I watch him eat and don't stop watching him until I think he's eaten a good amount. I start to drift off and everything blurs.


	25. Chapter 25

I wake up again, once again in unfamiliar surroundings. Rock everywhere, and a transparent wall with droplets of moisture. I'm in the cave. I try to get up, and my whole body hurts. I notice Wren a few feet from me and he bids me good morning.

It's not a good morning; I'm in the Games. At least I'm alive. But I'm not the optimistic kind. I slowly get up, forcing my rusty joints to move. I go examine my makeshift door. It stayed put, and kept out the snow. I realize I have no idea what tributes are left.

"Wren?" I call out.

"What?"

"I missed the recaps of the deaths."

"I think you were a little busy freezing," he jokes.

"So, who's left?" I ask.

"There were ten deaths at the Cornucopia. Four, Nine, Ten and Eleven were obliterated. And the boy from Three, and the girl from Five."

"So… We still have One, Two, the girl from Three, the boy from Five and the Eights?"

Wren doesn't answer. I admit it's not looking good for us. For me. We can't both win. I take out what little food I have left. A bit of the dried meat and some dried fruit. My water is practically done.

"We need to get food and water," I say.

"The Careers are still out there," Wren replies worriedly.

"I'm going. You do whatever you want."

"Fine, I'll go. I wouldn't want to leave you alone with the Careers."

"Please, I can take care of myself."

"If that were true, you'd still be in that tree."

I don't answer. He's got me there. I split the remainder of my dried food into two even piles and give Wren half. I select a nice knife, and put on one of the jackets. I'm not sure who's it was originally. Still chewing, I open the plastic covering and step outside.


	26. Chapter 26

I trudge along the forest floor. Wren follows quietly. We've left the mountainside and the trees are getting thicker. I walk on. Now I have time to contemplate exactly why he risked his life for me. He had no advantage in doing it. He could have easily died. I was being no help to him.

Maybe it was genuine kindness? Maybe he really felt bad for me? Now I'm forever in his debt. That's going to be difficult to cope with, seeing as one of us has to die. It has to be me, so I won't owe him.

But why give up? Why throw away everything, break all those promises, break all those hearts for this boy I barely know?

Because I owe him. That's undeniable now. I just need to decide on my plan. I decide I can't kill him purposefully. I decide I won't try to die. I decide I will try to live, but not harm Wren. This is so complicated.

I look back to Wren. He seems deep in thought too. Planning to murder me, maybe. I decide to act impulsively.

"Are you going to kill me?" I ask bluntly.

"What? No!" Wren says.

"There can only be one victor," I tell him.

"I know," he says darkly.

"Why are you helping me? The better off I am, the closer you are to dying," I prod, annoyed. It's like there's something he's not saying, something he wants to avoid.

"Would you just kill me like that?" he asks.

"No, but—"

"So I won't kill you," he says. I don't follow his logic. The only reason I'm sparing his life is because he helped me in the first place. I just give up on trying to understand him.

We arrive to a dense spot of woods.

"Let's split up. Meet you here in half an hour." I say.

I start to walk off. I turn back, and Wren's still there, watching me go. I keep walking. The trees look deserted. I see a rabbit. I take aim, and throw the knife. The rabbit scatters away. Knife throwing is definitely not my forte. In anger, I hurl it at a small tree. The impact knocks down a nest of eggs. Not bad, I think. There are five small eggs.

I walk on, looking around. When I think a half hour's up, I get back to our meeting spot. The eggs are not much, but it's a start.

Wren's not there. Did he get lost? Did he get caught? He's still alive, I haven't heard a canon yet.

I start to worry fifteen minutes later. Wren is taking too long.

I'm about to go look for him, when I hear a canon.


	27. Chapter 27

"Wren? Wren!" I scream desperately.

I run forward, anywhere. I don't care. I'm still screaming. The Careers can catch me if they want.

Where is he? This isn't possible.

I run straight into someone. I look up and find familiar gray eyes. Wren. I realize I'm sobbing. He's the one holding me up. I stay still, glad to have him there. I can hear his heartbeat.

Anger suddenly takes over me. I let go of him.

"Where were you?" I demand. Wren starts to say something.

"I was scared to death! When I heard the canon, I thought it was you! You can't just leave like that! I thought… I thought…"

"It's okay," he says. I look up at him. Things are anything but okay.

"Then… who was the canon?" I ask. Wren suddenly realizes something.

"It must have been the Careers."

I hear voices laughing, screaming.

"Let's split up, find a tree, each of us!" he says, alarmed.

"We'll meet here in an hour if the coast is clear." I tell him. "Promise?"

"Promise." I run off toward a big tree and scale it quickly. I find a nice place to sit. Wren hasn't gotten to a tree. He's taking too long. The Careers arrive.

Ace, Ludwig, Marina, and Crystal all tumble into our part of the woods. Ludwig spots Wren.

"Hey! Where's the pretty one?" he calls as the others form a circle around Wren.

"The other Twelve. Where'd she go?" Ludwig asks.

"I'll tell you where she is, but you better give me some food." Wren counters. What? I realize I better leave this tree now. I climb down quietly, being at a safe distance from the group. I get down and start running. They probably didn't hear me.

Bitter tears sting my eyes. A second ago, I was crying because I thought I'd lost him, and now he betrays me for some supplies. I run away, not looking back, this time losing Wren for good.


	28. Chapter 28

I run on, tears streaking my face.

I trusted him.

I cared about him.

I thought he cared about me.

I thought I was worth more than some supplies.

I thought he would protect me like I protect him.

My legs beat down onto the wet forest floor. I run until I find the river. I follow it, passing the empty Cornucopia, crossing over to the mountains directly on the other side of the arena. As far as possible from our cave. From his cave. As far from that place where I felt safe, that place we shared.

This just proves I can't trust. This just proves I can't care. This just proves I can't love.

There are no such things. I find a cave, bigger than his, but colder. I feel so alone. I shouldn't have thought he was different. He's just a bloodthirsty tribute. He's just a Career. I'm only worth some supplies.

The Capitol seal appears. The dead tribute was the girl from Three.

I sleep. I sleep all night, and more. I think I have a fever. Even though I sleep so much, I can't rest. My dreams are terrifying. I'm dying. The cold gave me a sickness.

I wake up. I'm functional. I get up. Mechanically, I leave the cave. I get out. I start walking. As I spear a squirrel and cook it, I feel better. Food makes me more alert. I chew on the small meat. I walk around.

There's a noise. I jump, and see someone moving. A flash of black hair. Amandla.

"You can come out, I won't hurt you," I call.

Amandla peeks out. Her short dark curls are tangled, and she has a wild look. I invite her to sit down. She munches on a piece of the squirrel.

"What brings you here?" I ask.

"I'm allying with Liam. He told me to go get food," she explains.

I see a squirrel. I throw a knife at it and it falls dead. I give it to Amandla.

"Bring this to Liam," I tell her.

"Thanks," she grins.

There are two other canons.

"Oh, no."


	29. Chapter 29

Amandla shoots out. I follow her. She's screaming for Liam. I know she won't listen. I know she won't stop.

I felt similar terror only a day before. I felt the same desperation.

We arrive to a small clearing where Liam and another boy are lying on the ground, dead. Amandla collapses, crying. She didn't have the luck I did.

"Shhh. You'll be fine." I soothe, stroking her hair.

She holds on to me desperately. I'm the last person she has in the world. I won't let her down.

"Don't worry. I won't let you starve." I tell her. She looks up at me, her big blue eyes full of doubt.

"Okay," she says.

Now I have a little girl on my hands. I start to walk off. She grabs my hand. This small act brings warmth to my whole being. It brings me a whole new kind of determination.

She shows me a bow she had in her bag.

"Liam gave me this except…. I don't know how to use it," she says. This bow is perfect. It's sleek and black. It's beautiful.

"I'll trade you two knives for it," I say.

She nods and hands me the bow. I take out two knives from my own bag. I have three left. Perfect.

She must be traumatized. I take her to my new cave. It's not far. I only hope I'll be better at allying with Amandla than I was with Wren.


	30. Chapter 30

Do not think about Wren. Do not think about Wren.

He abandoned me.

He saved me.

He traded me in for supplies.

He got me out from the snow.

He betrayed me.

He said he wouldn't kill me.

I said I wouldn't harm him.

He broke his promise.

Why should I keep mine?

Questions keep swirling around in my head. Amandla is beside me, sleeping. It's late at night. I can't sleep. How could I sleep? The Capitol's seal appears and the anthem begins to play. The dead boy was the boy from Five. His faces flashes in front of me one last time. He and Liam must have killed each other. Liam's handsome face flashes once again. The anthem plays again and it's over.

I glance at Amandla. She's still asleep.

Why do I care about Wren? Why can't I just let go? Why can't I get over the fact that he's gone?

What would I do if I met him?

I would kill him. He's now a direct threat to Amandla. I swore I'd protect her. It's not her fault that whatever happened between me and Wren did happen. I can't punish her for that. I'll protect her, no questions asked.

Darkness. Then there is light. Slanted, gray light. Gray like a pair of gray eyes. Wren's eyes. My eyes.

Woods. The charcoal light falls through branches. Birds are on branches, all silent. They're wrens. At once, they all begin to sing. Their eerie music fills the forest. The trees and grass are dark. Dark like his hair.

His face appears again. Dark hair, gray eyes.

My face. Red hair, again gray eyes. I'm still, pale. I'm dead. I'm lying in the snow. Everything is frozen in time. Wren arrives. Bends down and picks me up. Carries me. His eyes are gray like everything else.

I hold on to him. Forms arrive. I can barely see their twisted faces.

Careers!

"Where's the pretty one?" A voice rasps.

They're all chanting it now. "Where's the pretty one, where's the pretty one?"

Wren is still carrying me. I hold on for dear life. He can't let go, I'll freeze, die. The thud when he drops me reverberates around my chest.

"Miles?" Amandla calls worriedly. I open my eyes. It was all just a dream.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"You were… well… screaming." Apparently I do that a lot. Especially in my sleep.

"What was I saying?" I ask, curious.

"Don't drop me. I love you."


	31. Chapter 31

"I said WHAT?"

Amandla giggles, amused at my reaction.

"So who was it about?" she prods, clearly taking advantage of the situation.

"No one," I mumble.

"It was about Wren." She says.

"How did you know?" I ask, not even bothering to deny it.

"You said that too." She giggles. I wonder what else I might say in my sleep.

"Well it's not true." I say stubbornly.

"What's not true?"

"I don't love Wren," I say firmly.

"If you say so," she says, clearly not convinced.

I sigh and get up.

"How's our food supply?" I ask her.

"We only have a squirrel from yesterday."

"This will be breakfast."

I split the tender meat into two. We chew on the cold squirrel quietly. When we're finished, we toss the bones.

"We should go get more food, for today," I say. Amandla nods. I get up; stretch out.

We walk out of the cave. I don't see any squirrels. The Gamemakers aren't going easy on us. We walk through the woods, hoping to find the river. At least there will be water there.

We continue on, unsuccessful. Nothing edible appears. When I finally spot a stream, it's like salvation. I stop there and fill my water bottle. Amandla has one too, and I fill hers. I put a drop of iodine in each and we set off again.

I find a place to sit and drink. We've had no luck with food. It's a flat, grassy expanse in the woods. We're sitting, and I hear a noise. A twig snapping. Someone's near.

It take out the bow Amandla gave me, and pull out an arrow from my bag, the one I got from a tree the first day. I notch the arrow and get up, my bow drawn.

"Do you have any more arrows?" I ask her. She nods and hands me five more.

I turn around and around, not finding this person. This reminds me of another time this happened, the first day, when I allied with—

Wren! He appears. I point the arrow at him, with no second thoughts. He poses a direct threat to Amandla, I remind myself. I must shoot him.

He looks alarmed.

"No! Don't shoot!" he screams panicked.

"And why not? You were just ready to give me over to the Careers for some food."

"No, please, I wasn't, I mean, I'm sorry…"

"You left me to die!" I snarl.

"I didn't!" I don't lower my bow, but I don't let the arrow loose either.

"I was just buying you some time! I left during the night. I have food," he announces hopefully.  
"How do I know it isn't poisoned?" I ask, lowering my bow.

He sighs and takes out a pack of biscuits. He takes half of one, and chews it. He swallows. It's not poisoned.

I look over to Amandla. She seems ready to trust anything he says.

"Fine." I say. Wren takes out six biscuits, and gives three to each of us. I give Amandla one of mine, even though I'm hungry. I get up, and tell Amandla "Let's go home."

I walk along, not caring if he's following us. Why don't I just kill him now? Because I owe him from before, and even more so now. At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself.

I arrive at our cave. Amandla crawls in first, and I follow.

"Come on," I tell Wren. "Unless you feel like sleeping outside."

He gets in. It's roomier here. The sun is already going down. The anthem plays, and there are no dead tributes today. The Games must be getting dull. I fear for us. Maybe if I just add to the personal drama, it'll be good.

Amandla is already asleep. I take my jacket, and this time it's me who covers her, this time under Wren's watchful eyes.


	32. Chapter 32

The moon shines into our little home. I'm sitting in the mouth of the cave. Wren is beside me. I can feel his warmth, hear his breathing. Everything to reassure me that he's well and alive.

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are. But that won't change what happened," I reply.

"I ran away. I thought you were going to kill me, give up where I was."

"You know I wouldn't do that."

I turn to face him.

"That's the problem, isn't it? I don't know what you would or wouldn't do. How do I know you won't just kill me in my sleep?"

"I wouldn't hurt you."

"Why? I'm only an obstacle to your survival. I'm the reason you can't get back home."

A single tear rolls on my cheek. I turn away, try to hide it but he just brushes it gently away. I rest my head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat, the most reassuring sound. We just sit there for a while, just holding each other, looking out at the moon.

I wonder if this is real, or just a plan to capture the audience's attention. I stop thinking for a second and let myself drift off, feeling truly safe for the first time in days.

Again, a dark room. Hard, cold edges. They're closing in on me. There's not enough air. A singsong voice, a child, repeats again and again, "Don't drop me. I love you." The words echo around.

There's not enough air. I'm suffocating. The room is getting smaller. It's just the size of a coffin, molded to the shape of my body. The wall on top of me opens like a door. Wren is standing there, smiling. "I love you too."

He falls backwards, unflinching, still smiling. Birds swarm around me. Small, brown, white-speckled wrens. They sing their eerie tune as they circle around me, closing in on me. "Love you too."

I wake up in warmth. Again, I'm wrapped in my own jacket. I don't remember falling asleep last night. I stretch out, and find Amandla sleeping near me. Wren is nowhere to be seen. I yawn, and stretch out again. Wren appears. I can't move. He bends down, and whispers, "I love you too." Then he takes his knife and stabs me in my back.


	33. Chapter 33

"I love you too." I'd like to pay attention to that, except I'm paralyzed. I can't even move my eyelids. Suddenly, I'm looking up, eyes open, still on the ground. Wren looks at me. His face splits in half and opens wide to reveal a bird's face. "YOU TOO!" it screams. I shriek at the scarring sight.

I wake up suddenly.

"Are you okay?" Wren asks.

"Yeah…" I say. "Your face just split into a bird."

"What?"

"Never mind."

I am indeed wrapped in my own jacket, and I sure didn't wrap myself. I smile as I feel the fabric. Reality.

I stretch out and get up.

These dreams are getting weirder and weirder. I look back at Amandla. She's asleep.

I sit down in the front, where Wren is.

"We should go get breakfast," I tell him.

"Done." He shows me two squirrels and a nest full of eggs.

I'm so happy I tackle him with a hug. He falls down, laughing. I stay there, resting my head on his chest. Maybe I can finally regain the sleep I lost last night.


	34. Chapter 34

"Come on, lovebirds."

I jump off of Wren, startled. Amandla appears. Wren and I instantly go red.

"Let's eat!" she exclaims.

We eat the food Wren brought in silence. I decide to break the awkward silence.

"It's just us and the Careers now. We need a plan."

"I think we should go and get it over with before the Gamemakers force us over there. That might not be pretty."

I think of past years when they used avalanches, snowstorms, and even mutations to get the tributes where they wanted. I agree.

"Amandla, why don't you go get some water while we think out the best route to the Careers?" I tell her. She nods and speeds off with the bottles, just happy to leave.

Wren knows it's not use finding a route to the Careers. It was just an excuse.

"Back to what I was saying. There can only be one victor." Wren looks at me in silence. I take a deep breath. I know the cameras will be watching.

"I remember." I say loud and clear for Bailey and Takeda at home. "But I want it to be Amandla. It's my decision, and I'll protect it with my life."

Wren just reaches over and hugs me. I'm taken aback by the random gesture, but then I realize he's whispering in my ear so the Capitol won't hear. They're probably too caught up in the emotional stuff to notice the whispers.

"You don't have to sacrifice yourself. When the time comes, what if we refuse to fight?"

"They'll kill us off."

"What if we defy the Capitol? Refuse to lose our humanity? The Games would stop. We have that power."

He lets go and I nod. That plan is crazy, but it just might work.

Amandla comes back with full water bottles. I thank her.

"Our next step," I announce, "is to kill the Careers."


	35. Chapter 35

This is it. The final battle. We must kill the Careers and follow through with Wren's crazy plan. The Careers are somewhere around. We try the Cornucopia first. At least we will get some shelter there if we don't find the Careers. We walk on. It's almost noon and we're not far from our cave. I fear we won't be able to arrive to the center of the arena before sunset.

We pass one stream, another, and finally we get to the river. If we follow it, we're sure to pass through the center valley where the Cornucopia is. I take off my shoes and walk along the shallow edges of the river. It's refreshing and it leaves less tracks.

Wren and Amandla do the same. Our progression is slow. The light is already getting sparser. Finally, Wren decrees it's too late to keep walking. We should use the last of the sunlight to find shelter.

I see nothing except trees. I locate a big tree with sturdy branches. It point it out to Wren who agrees.

"Amandla, how about we sleep on that tree? On that big branch?" I ask her.

"All together? I want my own branch."

"If you say so," I reply, to tired to argue.

I scale the tree first, and sit on the big fork in the tree. Amandla scampers up and settles into the branch above. Wren climbs up and gets into a sturdy branch next to mine. Night falls, and it's freezing. Soon, we're huddling together for warmth. Amandla seems fine. I wonder at her tolerance of the cold. After a while I finally fall asleep. This is the first time I've slept in a tree since the night I left the first cave. The cold intensifies the memory.

I nod off and wake up to golden sunlight. I yawn and stretch. In the process, I almost fall off of the tree and knock off Wren who is right beside me. "Sorry," I say to him.

I look up and see Amandla, still sleeping on her branch. I'm about to wake her up when the anthem does it for me. Claudius Templesmith's famous voice blares out.

"Tributes of the sixty-fourth Hunger Games, I invite you all to a feast. It will take place in three hours, at the Cornucopia. Thank you." The Capitol seal is replaced by a countdown to the feast printed onto the sky. Three hours left.

Wren and I look at each other. This is the perfect chance to get near the Careers.

"I'm going," we both say at the same time.

"Me too," says Amandla.

"No! It's too dangerous," I cry.

She looks at me.

"I'm a tribute too. You can't shelter me all the time. I can do whatever I want."

I look away; my eyes are filling with tears.

"She's right," Wren tells me.

I nod, resigned. I can't keep sheltering her. She's a tribute too. I repeat her words to myself.

I steel my self with my usual stubborn determination. I look up at the clock.

"Two hours and fifty-eight minutes. We already lost some time. Let's get moving."


	36. Chapter 36

Maybe I was being overprotective of Amandla. But I can't let her get hurt! I stop myself once again. I've broken yet another promise. I promised to not give up on myself to Bailey. I promised to remember Takeda. I promised to not attempt to kill Wren. I promised I would keep Amandla safe. I promised myself I was going to make her the victor. I already broke my first two promises with the last two.

I'm a failure. I can't even help myself. I need to have someone rescue me so I don't get myself killed. "Don't give up on yourself," Bailey's voice reminds me. That's helpful. I wouldn't even trust myself.

"I remember!" I say desperately. Wren looks at me strangely but makes no comment. I hope they caught that on tape. But the truth is, I haven't put much thought to how Bailey and Takeda are doing. I'm a failure.

"I'm a failure," I mutter.

"No, you aren't." Wren says.

"If only you knew what I promised myself I'd do."

"All three of us are still alive. That's a start."

Maybe I have done something right. His logic does make sense. Sometimes, I need someone to bring everything back into perspective so I won't fall into my thoughts. Pessimism is a curse. Yet it's also a way of protecting myself. If I don't expect anything to go right, I'm either proved right or I'm surprised. I'm afraid of being let down. If I expect the worst, I can't be let down.

Sometimes, though, the worst I imagine isn't as bad as reality. Sometimes, I overthink life. I see everything as a trap, everything needing a strategy. I shake my head. Focus. We're finally at the edge of the woods ringing the center valley.

"Stay back," I tell them. They follow me anyway. I shoot them a deadly look and they both freeze. I look out past the trees. There's the Cornucopia, empty, and the sky says there are ten minutes left. I don't see any Careers, but I don't let that fool me. They're around somewhere. I go back to Wren and Amandla.

"Ten minutes. Do you still have those two knives?" I ask Amandla.

She nods. I take out two knives and give them to Wren. I'm left with a knife, the bow, and six arrows. I find a thick bush for us to hide behind while we wait. Finally, a metallic voice starts counting down.

"Sixty seconds. Fifty-nine. Fifty-eight. Fifty-seven."

The countdown reminds me of the one at the beginning of the Games. I motion for them to get up. They obey.

"Forty-six. Forty-seven."

I tense, getting ready, taking the bow out, and taking a quill Amandla hands me I sling them over my shoulder. I take out my knife.

"Thirty-two. Thirty-one."

I glance nervously at Wren. He has the knives. Amandla is tensing, getting ready to run. Sensing my panic, Wren gives my hand a quick squeeze. I get ready to run.

"Eighteen. Seventeen. Sixteen. Fifteen."

The ground is opening, and something is rising up. It's a table, with a basket full of bread. Small feast, but we're not here for the food.

"Four. Three. Two. One."


	37. Chapter 37

I take off running. I see a shape running towards the table. I take out an arrow and send it whizzing at him. It snags him in the neck, and he falls to his knees, clutching his throat. I pull the arrow out, and position it for my next shot. My hands are red with blood. My first kill.

I turn around in time to not get skewered by Marina's sword. Instead, it slashes my thigh. Stabbing pain makes me crumple to my knees. Marina is closing in on Amandla. Gathering my last bit of strength, I sink my knife deep into her neck. She falls to the ground, dead. Wren is battling Crystal, and I'm about to go help him when I whirl around to find Ludwig.

"Hello, Twelve." He growls.

I try and stab him, but I he dodges and I only scrape his chest. He tries to aim his spear at my stomach, but I dodge in anticipation. In that moment of my being unbalanced, he knocks me on the ground. I try to keep him off, but I can't move my hands and the tip of his spear is getting dangerously close to my neck. It's almost touching me when he starts coughing blood. Wren pulls his knife out from Ludwig's back. He falls to the ground, already dead. Crystal is lying on the ground, motionless.

The four Careers are dead. I look around for Amandla, alarmed. She's a few feet away from me, holding the basket, and looking at me with an expression I can't place. Her big blue eyes are almost brimming with tears.

"It's only us now," I say, barely believing it.

I suddenly understand Amandla's fear.

"I didn't know you could kill," she says, her voice shaking.

"I didn't either."

She starts to turn and run.

"No! Wait! I would never hurt you!" I shout after her.

I start to follow her, but Wren's arm stops me. I know better than to try to resist. He can be very strong when he wants.

"I would never hurt her." I say quietly.


	38. Chapter 38

I watch Amandla's small form running away with tears in the corners of my eyes. That's when I notice the pain in my thigh that's almost bringing me to my knees. I stumble over, and get up. Wren catches me before I faceplant. I open the ragged edges of slashed fabric wider to get a better look at my wound. It's red and gaping. It looks pretty deep. I experimentally try a few steps. I can manage walking.

"Let's go," I say harshly, not wanting to stay another minute in this place that now holds terrible memories. The bodies are still sprawled out on the floor, proof of my crimes. I'm a killer now. They did it. They won. The Capitol owns my innocence. I will never again be guiltless. I have two corpses on my conscience: Ace and Marina.

I'm only fourteen! I still have so much to live for! But part of me died along with those two tributes. I have been replaced with an evil, unfeeling, murderous version of myself. I walk right in to the forest. I walk straight, heading towards our old cave. I know Amandla won't be there. She needs some time.

We arrive right at nightfall. I collapse into the cave, and Wren follows. I'm so tired. I sleep a long, restless sleep.

Again, slanted gray light. A forest. My forest, in District Twelve. One word. Home. What is home? my semi-conscious from wonders. Bailey arrives, chased by Takeda. I try to talk to them but they don't hear me. "Bailey! Bai-leeey! Takeda!" I shout, but it's no use. Suddenly, Peacekeepers barge in. There are screams, and they're being taken away. "NO!" I scream desperately. For the first time, Bailey looks straight at me. "Remember!"

I open my eyes. Wren is awake, probably woken up by me. "Another bad dream?" I nod.

"What if… what if Bailey and Takeda were dying right now?" I ask, almost to myself.

"They're not."

"How do you know?" I almost shout. "They could be dying now, starving!"

"You worry too much. All the worrying in the world won't affect them." He says.

I sit back, somewhat subdued.

"I want to go home," I say plaintively.

"You will."

"No, I won't. We're in the Huger Games, might I add," I say, annoyed at his optimism.

"You will, and I promise," he says. I remember his crazy plan.

"Will you?" I ask.

"I'll see."

That seems a little grim for an outlook. I remember Takeda's words.

"Don't sacrifice yourself," I tell him.

"Don't worry," he says, and pulls me down into a lying down position, so I finally shut up and go to sleep.


	39. Chapter 39

I'm woken up by Wren, who shakes me gently. I bolt up, my eyes wild. I see him and calm down. My survival instincts are in overdrive. I haven't eaten anything for two days. I don't care.

"We need to find her." Wren doesn't object, sensing the determination in my voice. I get up and climb out. Amandla's cave, if I'm right about her being there, is directly across from where we are. I walk out of the cave, followed by Wren. I shoot a squirrel along the way, and stop to roast it on a small fire I quickly build. I give Wren half, put out the fire, and continue on. We pass the first and second streams, and then we're along the river again. We follow it for an hour or so until we arrive at the middle clearing. The Cornucopia is still there, shiny as ever, but the bodies, table, and all blood from the battle are gone.

I walk through stiffly, still following the river that crosses the arena. I refill my water bottle and so does Wren along the way. We get back into the woods ringing the middle valley. Our progression is faster since we are not worried about leaving tracks. After a couple of hours, we're finally at the rockier beginning of mountains. I climb up steadily, with one goal: finding Amandla. I arrive at the smaller cave. The last time I was here was the morning before Wren left me for the Careers. I glance at him and he avoids my stare. He knows perfectly well what I'm thinking of.

"Amandla?" I ask, unsure. Her head pokes out from the opening, as does a skinny arm holding a knife.

"Here, use my bow, it'll be easier," I say, and give her it. She stares at me suspiciously. Suddenly, I feel anger. Anger at the Capitol for making her so untrustful. Anger at them for making Wren and I killers.

"I won't hurt you," I say. "I won't fight." I start getting louder. "None of us are fighting, so your Games are screwed up! There is no victor! You don't own us! You can kill us off, but we'll die as martyrs!" I say emphasizing the last word. I know they won't kill us now.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the victor of the Sixty-Fourth Hunger Games: Amandla Fallstreak, of District Eight!"


	40. Chapter 40

Fallstreak is her last name, I think, unable to formulate any other thought. A hovercraft moves the air, creating a small breeze. It lands, and Peacekeepers escort us in. I wonder what's happening. How come we didn't get killed. They sit us three down, and a Peacekeeper arrives. He starts to speak to Amandla in a gravelly voice.

"Congratulations, victor." He turns to us. "From now on, you do not exist in the Capitol's eyes. You may not mention your being a Tribute. You are now exempt from the Reaping. You will not be counted among the population." That's some good news. There will be no more Reapings for Wren and I. He continues. "You will be sent back to your homes. You are on probation from now on." I look over at Wren, who manages a weak smile. Home.

The hovercraft has arrived to a Capitol building. They take Wren and Amandla away, and I'm screaming, they're trying to break free, until an injection blacks everything out.

I wake up. It has been days. My arm is connected to a tube, which feed directly into my bloodstream. I move my leg, and I don't have the familiar pain. I lift my skimpy yet soft white robe and find there's a stretched pinkish scar where the deep cut once was. I move my limbs experimentally. I seem to be working. The whole place is so white and unnatural. This must be what they call a hospital. My bed is small and comfortable, and has wheels. Where is everyone? I start screaming, calling for someone. No one arrives. Something snaps inside me.

"WREN! AMANDLA!" I shout at the top of my lungs. Three nurses, all dressed impeccably in white, rush over. They give me another shot, and I feel woozy and tired. I force my voice to work.

"Wren and Amandla? The other tributes? Where are th…" I fade off.

I wake up again, this time to a voice.

My eyelids flutter and I see a vague shape. It solidifies into a face. Ashy hair and earnest gray eyes.

"Hey," I say weakly.

"Oh, you're alright! They were worried, and I didn't know—"

"You're the one who told me I worry too much."

"Now I know the feeling, and I don't blame you."

I don't let the deep meaning of his words sink in.

"So, we're dead to them," I say.

"Yeah, they're having recaps of the Games tonight."

"I'm going."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am," I say, regaining some of the old fierceness. Wren doesn't continue to object. I want to see the recaps. Secretly, I want to see what Wren said to the Careers.


	41. Chapter 41

I sit quietly through the trip to the recap. We will watch the Hunger Games compilation, and then say goodbye to Amandla. My throat tightens at that thought. It's not easy to let go of someone you've desperately clung to for the past weeks. A tear threatens to spill over. I take a deep breath. In the high-tech vehicle we're in, the driver sits in the front. Wren and I are in the back separated by a glass boundary. It's there so we won't hurt the driver or try to escape. I guess we're animals now.

I cared for her like family. I try to stop the flow of thoughts, to accept my fate, but I can't.

"Do you think we really won't ever see her again?" I ask Wren, my voice choked with grief.

"I don't know. We don't really exist anymore, so I guess… maybe we could leave the district and go visit her?" he says, unsure.

His answer wasn't satisfying. I curl my hands on the seat, my nails almost ripping the soft fabric. I try to close my eyes, to look away from everything.

"This is really hard for you, isn't it?"

I answer the same way I did eons ago, that day before the Games, when he was asking about Bailey and Takeda.

"She was my family."

The crowd roars. We're sitting in a room backstage, watching the live video of Amandla's victory interview. Haymitch and Effie are here with us. The reunion was a little strange. We're not really victors, yet we didn't die. Amandla walks onto the stage, looking like a frightened little foal. She's wearing a simple sky blue dress with loose tulle sleeves, tight at the waist, and then flowing down until her knees. Her hair is clean and shiny again, and it curls perfectly. She sits in a chair next to the famous Caesar Flickerman. He asks her a couple questions about how she feels winning the Games, she answers by saying she's proud to bring glory to her district. Finally, Caesar gets the audience's attention.

"Ladies and gentlemen, now we have a compilation of the Games!"


	42. Chapter 42

I'm curious to see how they've edited the Games to make it look like we died. The lights dim, and the countdown begins. Sixty seconds. The memory of this makes me squeeze my eyes shut to get out of the arena. My hands are clenched tight onto my seat. I almost lost it, but it stopped. The countdown reached one. I realize my sanity is precarious.

I open my eyes experimentally. The tributes are running out, getting supplies. I look away, not wanting to see the Careers mass-murder most of the tributes. They show Amandla running off with Liam, them teaming up. They also briefly show how Wren and I teamed up. They fast-forward to Wren getting me from the snow, and show quick shots of Amandla as well as the Careers. They show Wren meeting the Careers, telling them he'll give away my location for some food. I shoot an angry look at Wren, which he avoids.

Then Wren sneaks off at night, taking the dried food from Ludwig. He walks through a few seconds' worth of forest. By this time, they show how I found Amandla and show a quick shot of Liam and the other boy, dead. Then they smash-cut to Wren and I in the cave, watching the moon while Amandla is asleep. I fall asleep on Wren, and he carries me back into the cave. Just when he's about to put me down, they blow up what was originally a whisper.

"I love you," movie-me says. It echoes around the silent audience. It gets worse.

"I love you too," movie-Wren replies. Wren and I flush beet red, and an awkward silence settles over the room. That explains the crazy dream about Wren's face splitting in half. Did that really happen, or was that edited? I have no time to think. They fast-forwarded to our killing the Careers. I have to look away. I don't recognize myself, with wild eyes and steely determination as I hack my way through my opponents. No wonder I scared Amandla off. Then, they cut to our finding her in the cave.

It starts out normally, as I give her the bow. Then, Wren takes his knife and skewers me. It's pretty realistically done, and it rattles me a little. I have seen my death. Then

Amandla, her beautiful face contorted in rage, shoots an arrow through Wren's neck.

I look over at Wren, terrified. He sees my wide eyes and soothes me.

"It's edited. It's not true." Of course it's not. I'm alive now. Am I insane? Can I even call this being alive?

The movie ends. The crowd roars again. How can they enjoy this? Amandla bows stiffly and walks off the stage. Any second now, she'll walk through the door to say her final goodbyes to me.


	43. Chapter 43

She pushes the door open. Amandla looks so fragile in that moment, with her spikes of black hair making her look even younger, and her pretty blue eyes brimming with tears. She rushes in and hugs me.

"I'm so sorry," she gasps. I hold her close. She smells like flowers, and she's so clean she looks like a different person altogether.

"It's not your fault. Nothing is your fault," I say. "Do you have a home back in your district?" She nods.

"I live with my sisters." She looks up at me. "Do you think you could come visit, maybe?" she asks hopefully.

"Maybe," I say. "Since we're not officially alive anymore, maybe we could sneak off…" my voice trails off.

"I'm going to miss you," she says.

"Me too." We embrace again, and then Peacekeepers arrive. They're taking her away once again, and I can't stand another goodbye. I've had too many already. I break.

I crumple to the floor, my entire being shaking, trying to cover my ears and blot out life. Maybe I'm screaming. I feel paralyzed, broken, as I let out my fear. This is insanity.

Again, I'm being lifted. I'm transported back into the arena, where the snow is biting at my face. Memories rush in as I desperately try to claw my way out of the Games.

"Let me leave!" I scream. "Let me leave!"

Why can't I leave the arena? Another shot makes me go limp and I'm taken from the pair of arms. Wren, as I glimpse through half-closed eyelids.

I open my eyes to a bed, in a train. I try to get up, but I can't. I try to prop myself up of my elbows to achieve a sitting position, but I fall back down. I growl in frustration. I hear a little chuckle. Wren is sitting in a chair nest to the bed.

"It reminds me of that time when you wouldn't give up on that elevator button. You're still as determined."

"That was ages ago. And now, the biggest difference is that I'm mentally unstable." I lay back down on my bed with a sigh. A strand of hair is in my face. I try to blow it away, but it falls back down. My hair is as stubborn as me. Wren reaches over and smoothes it behind my ear.

"So, where are we?" I ask.

"We're just about to arrive."

"And you were just sitting here the whole time?"

"Keeping you company."

"Must have been boring," I mumble.

"No,"

"I did nothing for two hours."

"You talk in your sleep a lot," he says slyly. I try to sit up and see him better, but I just fall back again.

"Or so I've been told."


	44. Chapter 44

The train doors open into the gray light of District 12. The same gray light that shone on my dreams in the arena. I start to lose my grip on reality, but Wren notices, takes my hand and marches me outside. There are no crowds. The train station looks over the district.

"Where do you live?" I ask Wren.

"Over there," he says, pointing to a house in the Seam. It's along the woods like mine, and pretty close. I show him where I live.

"I guess this is goodbye," I say.

"No," Wren says. "I couldn't stand another goodbye."

"I'll meet you tonight at the woods in front of your house. Past the fence."

He raises his eyebrows inquiringly.

"Don't worry. I do it all the time," I say. I give him a quick hug and walk off. It's afternoon, so Bailey and Takeda will be out of school. I walk down from the train station to the Seam. Everything is quiet. I follow the road to my house. Bailey is right outside, holding her schoolbag, talking to Takeda. Bailey turns too see me, seemingly confused. Then her eyes widen and she drops her bag to run towards me. Takeda follows and I'm running too.

"Is it really you? I thought you were dead!" Takeda exclaims.

"That was edited," I say. "But I'll explain later." I turn to Bailey.

"Can I still live with you?"

"Of course, when we thought you died, my parents were devastated, and—"

They waste no more time talking and both compress me in a hug. When they break away, Bailey says, tears in her eyes.

"Lena, I missed you so much!"

Lena. The old nickname sounds foreign. They were the only ones to ever call me that. But the innocent Lena has died. She has been replaced by Miles the murderer, Miles the tribute.

"Call me Miles," I say.

They look at me strangely. In that moment, I see that I have changed beyond repair.

END OF PART ONE.


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